Asthenia
by SageoWind218
Summary: As Zero pilots the shuttle that will soon collide with the space colony Eurasia, he looks at Earth one last time. Spoilers for Megaman X5, Shonen ai


Been awhile since I've put anything up on here. Hi, everybody! Remember me? If you don't, that's okay. 

I'm sure most of you Megaman/Rockman fans have played Megaman X5. I know most of the comments I've read about it were bad, but I thought it was... a little over average. I mean, come on, this was the first game I bought when I got my Playstation (Which is now happily a PS2!) It holds a symbolic meaning... I guess... to me. But nonetheless, having played all series, I feel I have a duty to _at least _one story per branch of the Megaman/Rockman Universe. I've done three for the Battle Network/EXE series, (_Lullaby in Blue, An Empty Glass Screen, and Unwanted Paradise) _and I feel that since Blink-182 did such a close version of Zero on the shuttle, I thought, 'what the hey? I might as well try my hand at it!'

Now, before we do anything, the title _Asthenia _is the term used for a breakdown of life in space. Quite well put, if I do say so myself, because doesn't that basically happen to Zero? Doesn't he go crazy after coming back/ or when the mission is unsuccessful? (It matters how you played...)

So, this story is basically about those who are the heroes of space, and those who have to go through the trauma that being cooped up in a tiny metal craft with little company and never knowing if their coming home... 

Warnings- Yaoi, trauma, character death, and spoilers. 

Zero, X, and other characters and the plot this story is based upon is owned by Capcom. 'Asthenia' is performed and owned/copyrighted by Blink-182. I love those guys! And because the story is sort of based on the song and Megaman X5, listening to the song while reading, if you have the CD, would be appreciated. IF you don't, oh, well... 

Zero's POV.

_

Asthenia

_

-_Last night, it came as a picture,_

With a good reason, 

A warning sign.

This place is void of all passion,

If you can imagine, it's easy if you try.-

I really, _really _hate space.

The 'Final Frontier' was beautiful to stare at on Earth... but it isn't all that exciting when you might just die in a mission away from your home. It's sad that I had to come up here on a risky mission to keep the humans and Reploids back home safe, but I have a 'duty', so my best friend, X, says. He told me to look back at Earth once more before I rammed the shuttle into the space colony Eurasia. So I did, and I went on the silent verge of tears. The soft shade of blue oceans and the land that dotted its way across that ball of azure... It was my home.

And I wanted to go back so badly...

I wouldn't have minded whether or not I was on Earth and Eurasia collided with my beloved planet, as long as I had a more treasured thing in my arms. It was all blue, and I can't help but chuckle through my tears as I think of him, just standing there, a gloved hand held to his chest to vaguely feel his heartbeat through his thick armor as he awaits my return. But, unfortunately, I don't think I'll be going back. The humans could really care less about me, as long as someone else did their dirty work. I don't know why they didn't insist on going, considering that they were the _true _inhabitants of Earth. Us Reploids were basically strangers there to them. You couldn't help but notice that... their shrewd conversations about our existence just merely proved something to us inorganic creatures... they were afraid of us. 

I couldn't blame them, considering that us androids were exceedingly more powerful than the humans would ever hope to be. I mean, we could be modified to go into dangerous terrain, be the smartest person in the universe, or be amazingly handsome. Humans had to stay the same throughout their entire lives. They also had only one life. Unlike us, they couldn't be rebuilt or pieced together like we could after a mission or an accident. You couldn't help but feel... sympathetic towards the humans... considering how deprived they were of the luxuries us Reploids were given... but they also had something we wanted, but knew we could never have...

The humans have a soul...

-_Believe me, _

I failed in this effort

I wrote a reminder

This wasn't a vision.

This time, 

Where are you, Houston?

Is somebody out there? Will somebody listen?-

I recalled X talking about the simplicity, yet complex ways of a soul. A soul is the entity of the human person in which is regarded as being immortal, invisible, and the source of spirituality, emotion, and other various... 'things'. It made me wonder how we could have been programmed to feel and know certain subjects without having a soul programmed into us also. _Could _a soul be put into us? Though I highly doubted it, X had hope... _too _much hope... but that hope was encouraging. 

But it could also be dangerous, considering the situation we were in at the moment. I mean, here I am, several hundreds or even thousands of miles away from my lover, about to crash into an infected space colony and having a risk of being killed in the process. There he is down there, like a little blue dot, waiting for my return and all the while, hoping that I would be safe. _Safe!? _How was I supposed to be _safe _up here in the dire mission I was on!? ... But that's X... and probably his hopeful and optimistic attitude towards the dangerous and evil ways of life is what I fell for anyway. And I wouldn't have him in any other way. 

-_Should I go back, _

Should I go back,

Should I-?

/I feel alone and tired.../

Should I go back,

Should I go back,

Should I-?

/I hope I won't forget you.../-

'How far are you from the colony, Zero?' I should have _known _that she would ruin this... false bliss I was feeling at the moment. Yes, false bliss. Thinking about your lover and watching the Earth from afar was... strangely comforting. Pathetic, isn't it? I could only sigh and reply to Alia, knowing she would be worried over the hesitation period I had already left. 

"I'm about one-hundred fifty miles from target," I yelled into my communicator, quietly having faith that X was right there beside her and watching on with his own faith in me. Fortunately, he answered this time, and I couldn't help but feel that false bliss again. _'Be careful... okay, Zero?'_

I thought I would pass out right then and there. Hearing his voice while in this pain-in-the-ass mission was like hearing an angel's voice in the pits of Hell. Good comparison, because to my eyes, X is the angel and I'm a demon in disguise. 

"I will, X... Love you..." I answered him, hearing nothing for a good while. No one really knew of our relationship and we had decided to keep it that way. But, I felt that because of the situation he and I were in, I should at least tell him that I love him one more time, even if everyone in the entire Communications Room heard me. Besides, there's like this little percentage that I might come home. I think Signas said it was eighty-two percent that I would die during this mission, and eighteen percent that I would come home safely. 

And finally I heard that angelic voice I had loved for so long tell me the same. I smiled back into the transmitter after hearing this, a drop of salty liquid hitting my armored lap. _'I love you, too, Zero... come home safe...' _And then the transmission was cut off. I was completely alone now... I sighed again, this time nervously, and knew of my fate. 

Good chance I was going to die up here, no matter what X said or wanted. 

-_My head is made up of memories,_

Most of them useless

Delusions.

This room is bored of rehearsal

And sick of the boundaries,

I miss you so much.-

As I neared the colony, I couldn't help but wonder what would happen later if I died. Would X still be strong? Would Sigma _finally _stop showing up every damn time we got somewhere in life? ...would X be happy without me? I'm sure he would get over it after a while but... he's so emotional... who knows what he would do if he had a mental and emotional breakdown. I think I'm having one right now... I mean, who would think and talk with themselves while they were on the brink of death? Not many, I can assure you. 

The transmission beeped on and I heard Alia speak through the other end, telling me I had to eject in a few seconds if I wanted to get out of there safely. As I let my hand glide over to the ejection button and waited for the word to press it. I narrowed my cerulean eyes towards the colony, feeling every circuit and wire in me tense up... so this was it.

__

'Press it now!'

I hesitated for a second, and only _a second_, and that cost me everything. As I hit the button, the cockpit and the shuttle separated and a few seconds later, the last thing I saw was the shuttle colliding with the colony, with caused this massive explosion. And I was caught right in the middle...

About that time, I started having these... skeptical reoccurrences in my head. They were memories of the past, of course, since I went through the same thing when I had shut down during the first war with Sigma. There were several, unfortunately, that I wasn't too happy to cope with while I was dying. They were mostly of the mavericks I had fought and of Repliforce troops I had killed recently. Iris and Colonel were in there... and so was General, all at their own deaths and that horrible crimson sanguine covering their bodies, each telling me their last words. And then the newer ones took place, and I saw Signas, Alia, and Douglas welcoming me into the Communications Room after being called for a new mission or briefing. And, as usual, images of that old man with the whacked-out hair laughing from my nightmares and Sigma grinning evilly as we prepared to fight once more at the end of every war he and I had faced in came to my mind. I despised each and every one of those images. And then... I was sure I was dead... or dreaming, at the most...

Right in front of me in a veil of white was a blue-armored Reploid with angel wings on the back of his armor. His green eyes lit up at me, that sweet, gentle smile I knew far too well came across his face. He raised his arms as a sign for me to come to him and opened them, indicating a warm embrace. I reached out to him as my body went up in flames, fire lapping at my red armor that matched the blood oozing out of the scars the metal had unnoticeably cut me when the cockpit exploded. I saw my gloved crimson and burned hand stretch out to touch the glowing figure. He seemed to back away from me... so I screamed his name, hoping he at least heard me.. 

"X, don't leave me!"

And as an answer to my desperation, I heard my name one last time through my transmitter and I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Tears ran down my face, burning my wounds even more than they already were and I screamed in pain as I was engulfed in flame and darkness. I heard a beep, signaling that permanent shut down was imminent. So this was it... 

__

'Zero! Come back!' 

I was dead...

__

-Should I go back,

Should I go back,

Should I-?

/I feel alone and tired.../

Should I go back,

Should I go back,

Should I-?

/This time, I don't want to.../

Should I go back,

Should I go back,

Should I-?

/I feel alone and tired.../

Should I go back,

Should I go back,

Should I-?

/I hope I won't forget you.../- 

__

_

The End...

_

Short, and out of emotional detail, but I wanted to put this story up so badly. I went back and added a bit more, but I don't think it was enough to bring the reader into the event that was happening. But, like I said earlier, most of you knew what the story would be about, expect that in this story, Zero just dies instead of going maverick. Like he said, 'pathetic, isn't it?'

Hope you enjoyed.


End file.
